Random Obsession

Okay, today I’m going to talk about robots. Because of reasons, ok? Because I just want to. It has almost nothing to do with the fact that I totally forgot I had to post and also because I am currently obsessed with this:


I mean…what in the ever loving fookity fookballs is this?? I feel like the internets has creeped into my brain and stolen my personal private sex thoughts. Because that is definitely what my private sex thoughts are about.

An android, that can do whatever you want it to do¬†– including unethical and distressing acts – that talks in a clipped authoratative British accent…and ALSO LOOKS LIKE MICHAEL FASSBENDER.

What on earth were they thinking with this? I’m surprised the combined arousal of a million girls hasn’t formed an almighty tidal wave, and taken out the entire internet. I’m amazed Tumblr didn’t crash due to a million girls being completely unable to process the idea of owning their very own poseable Fassbender.

It was a close thing, I reckon. My favourite Tumblr comment about this…Happening…was one girl who said she’d lost a follower because of the all the foaming at the mouth she’d done over this, and then she’d posted the following gif below:

Yeah, I’m not sorry, either. I’m not sorry that I’ve spent this post raving about a character from a movie that no one in Romancelandia will probably ever care about – he is, after all, a totally passive and weirdly effete English butler android with a hint of the creeptastical that suggests he might just segment you into twenty parts while you sleep and build a wall out of your body.

I’m not sorry that I live for stuff like this. I’m not even sorry that I’d do terrible things to him, if I had one of my very own.

Because I am just that wonky.

About Charlotte Stein

Charlotte is a writer of erotica and erotic romance, with a book currently out from Black Lace, and an almost-novella in the works with Total-E-Bound! Read more >
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10 Responses to Random Obsession

  1. Ruthie Knox says:

    You are particularly enamored of his slightly-too-short jumpsuit, buttoned right up to his neck, aren’t you? You filthy pervert, you.

    I’m glad that I watched that preview thing, but I would be even gladder if I’d seen it elsewhere, because I would have definitely thought, “Oh, somebody’s got to show that to Charlotte.”

  2. I KNOW RIGHT? I watched it over and over, like a junkie who’d suddenly happened across a secret stash of the good stuff. Totally high on robot Fassbender. Because (as I tweeted to Andrew Sullivan, who had the audacity to suggest the future this movie posited was a bad thing), I mean come ON. Fassbender. Robot.

    In what universe could that EVER be a bad thing? Even if he DID end up segmenting your body into wall-building components.

    You just know that robot has a special switch somewhere that turns on the naughty programming. I WANT TO FIND THAT SWITCH, CHARLOTTE! We could find it together!


      And you are soooo right it hurts my soul. I can take casual extermination of entire colonies by hostile organisms. I can even take the self-sacrifice of my heroine, Ellen Ripley. I can take anything, as long as there is robot Fassbender.

      And gurl, gurl, you KNOW I am so there for the finding of the button. I can just see us, carefully unwrapping our Fassbot. Pretending we don’t care that much. Oh look, he has real fingernails! And then as time goes on…slowly, slowly we turn into greedy frantic animals, probing his orifices for the button that makes him do sex yoga.


  3. Alisha Rai says:


    Sorry, did you say anything else?

  4. “I can take anything, as long as there is Robot Fassbender” lol

  5. Also, argh, I can’t find a link for this actual video but I have always found it disturbingly hot: Bjork’s “All is Full of Love” featuring ROBOT MAKEOUT TIME


    Please tell me I’m not alone.

  6. nu says:

    Fassbender, Fassbender, Fassbender!

    Hey, did you see A Dangerous Method? Fassbender spanking Kiera Knightley? *__*