I’m just home from a convention—the kind that’s 98% dancing and drinking and where “networking” is a dirty word yet “splooge” isn’t—and struggling to get my momentum back on the work-in-progress. So I wished aloud on Twitter that the urban legend were true: that somewhere there exists a supercomputer into which you can feed the basics of your romance novel, hit a button, and a fully formed story comes spilling out…ideally on that old-timey continuous paper with the tractor-feed edges. Like, plug in Gryffin, disgraced Navy SEAL, Allegra, mousy proctologist, small town Virginia, secret twins and the Romance Noveltron 5000™ whirs and smokes and out tumbles your RITA-winning story!
Well, it turns out that inventing said wundermaschine would require more time and money than actually writing my own book would, so I ultimately scrapped the plans. But what I did find when I Googled “story generator” was this site. A fully formed book it will not manifest, but OH MY GOURD did it spew out some killer elevator pitches, every last one of them a bona fide wonkomance begging to be written.
Check this genius:
In this story, an inexperienced garbageman falls in love with a misunderstood newscaster. What starts as disgust soon turns into obsessive love—all thanks to a wedding.
This story takes place in a large city in Iran. In it, a football player with a dark past falls madly in love with a healthy zoologist. It seems a detached gym teacher will bring them even closer together.
In this story, a combative barber falls in love with a spendthrift video game addict. Yet, how can a war tear them apart?
In this story, a pharmacist who lost meaning in life is introduced to an unathletic psychiatrist who belongs to a secret organization. What starts as obligation quickly becomes infatuation. It seems someone building a dwelling will bring them even closer together.
In this story, a promiscuous gym teacher ends up on the run with a stingy CIO. What starts as disgust soon turns into obsessive love—all thanks to longing. What role will an outlaw play in their relationship?
In this story, a college professor haunted by dark memories ends up on the run with an introverted librarian. What starts as curiosity quickly becomes obsessive love. It seems a gas station attendant will bring them even closer together.
In this story, a laborer who seems insane falls madly in love with a snide performance artist.
In this story, an unbalanced surgeon falls madly in love with a kind scuba diver. What role will an astronaut play in their relationship?
This story starts in a shooting range in an outpost. In it, a college professor with a false identity meets an unjust philosopher. What starts as indifference quickly becomes obsessive love—all thanks to an alienation. Yet, how can smuggling tear them apart?
In this story, a religious chemical engineer is in love with a terrorist who loves children. Yet, how can a trial tear them apart?
Well, you know what my next ten books will be about.