Bad Blogger! No Biscuit! And also Natural Law.

(a post in which I am simultaneously ashamed and self-congratulatory)

Yes, yes, I forgot my wonkoposting. All my fault. I had calendar reminders and everything. But I was busy! Doing what, you ask? Writing this post for RT Book Reviews instead! Also coming up with a rec list of five kinky novellas (which was tough, let me tell you. This job is just work, work, work all the time).

Also, more to the point, I haven’t had much time for reading lately. When I have read it’s been mostly non-wonky contemporary romances, not my usual wonky historicals. However I did finally get a chance to read a BDSM erotic romance classic the other day, Natural Law by Joey W. Hill, and it’s pretty full of wonk from the get-go.

While BDSM may not be everyone’s thing (and I don’t usually read it for jollies, even if it’s what I mostly write), Joey Hill is first and foremost an engaging storyteller with an eminently readable style. She packs a lot of emotional wallop in there, but it still feels like an easy read, and she’s not afraid to have her characters contain multitudes. Case in point: Natural Law, featuring a “submissive” who’s nevertheless a very alpha male, and a fledgling “Dominant” who shows tremendous vulnerability throughout the book. Neither of them is quite sure what to make of their own sexual inclinations, but somehow it all works out in the end and is believable because Hill nails the characters (so to speak) and makes them real.

Plot? Yeah, there is one, and it’s suspenseful, if a wee bit contrived (although that might just be that it uses some tropes that weren’t exactly tropes yet when it was written in 2004, like an improbably elaborate BDSM club, an insanely rich character with a lavish private dungeon, the secondary character (s) for whom kink is manifested in very unhealthy ways, the absolute conviction of all the characters that having their sexual preferences outed will result in the ruination of their lives, etc.). Hill writes good suspense, and although I’m not that into romantic suspense this seems a decent example of that category as well. But the psychology of BDSM is definitely front and center in this one, which is inherently wonky in many ways, and it’s fascinating. Also a lot of fun. Worth a read.

Okay, yes, also it’s insanely hot.

Posted in Shameless Self-Promotion, Talking Wonkomance | Comments Off

Pin The Lip On The Tomb Door

Yessssssss! Look at me! I remembered to do my post! Am not a total failure as a human being, though that’s in part due to one of the gals here who kindly set up an email reminder thing. And I got the email reminder thing! And then I put it in my flagged space in my emails because I need the flagged space due to my ancient, elderly goldfish memory that can only hold one idea at a time, and hey presto!

A post. Though now that I’m here I have no clue what I’m going to write. Stuff about things? Things about stuff? I’ve had this massive crush on Michael Shannon, lately, so maybe I’ll just talk about that. Since you couldn’t get much wonkier than him.

His face is like a tomb door. If a tomb door had really wide apart eyes and a mouth with no bottom lip. Seriously. There’s no lip there. I’ll even make a game of it: “Pin The Lip On The Tomb Door”. Go ahead and try it:

But it will be like those games at the fairground that you can never win, cos they’re a trap or a trick or the block’s too big. The block of his face is too big, I know that much. Or is it just an optical illusion, caused by this oddly narrow body? He’s tall, but his torso isn’t that wide, so it makes him look all hunched and pinched and weird.

I swear to God, the book I write about him is going to be weird. For a start, he’s never going to talk. I was thinking of making him mute, but I like the idea of him just not talking because that’s how weird he is. And I’m making him a cheese farmer, too. On a farm that looks like it fell out of a little read Stephen King story.

A Stephen King story that was based on Ed Gein’s life. I think it was called: “The Man With A Face Like A Tomb Door”, but it could equally called “Charlotte Stein Is Really Fooking Wonky”. Because I am, I know I am. I cut my readership in half daily, just by virtue of my pure wonkiness and my probable love of weird men with narrow bodies.

But that’s okay. Because I wouldn’t have me any other way.

Posted in Writing Wonkomance | Comments Off

Read This Now

If you haven’t read Caitlin Moran’s How To Be a Woman yet, go now. Three-page book report to me by third period Friday.

Posted in Life & Wonk | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment